Aussie Joke of the Year

A bogan walked into the centerlink office, marched straight up to the
counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent.
We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful 30 year old daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy, wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The Centerlink worker said, "Yeah, well . . . you started it."

The Aussie Male

Men are like lawnmowers, they are hard to get started on cold mornings, are noisy and emit foul odours.