Its just not Cricket.....

During the furore recently in cricket, was decided perusal of the game itself was in order.

The more study the more revealed at just how sexualised cricket has become. I mean who

wields his virgin wood waiting to see the first cherry ? What is with all the ball tweaking

and dead balls , how many maidens are bowled over? Kind of like foreplay when the

bowler makes a fast approach and doesnt follow through correctly and the batter

has a pull shot. A touch of voyeurism indeed, who really needs a 3rd person to tell you

whether you are in or out. The public pay to view many a full toss on what can turn into a

sticky wicket, what the hell does a half toss constitute? Who else can fiddle with their box

in public and get away with it? Last but not least the realisation, you're playing with people who

do bat for the opposite team !!


virgin wood- a previously unused cricket bat

cherry- mark left on said cricket bat after striking red ball

ball tweaking- to get the ball spinning when bowling it.

dead balls- called when a bowler aborts his run up without making a delivery, called when a batsmen attempt to run leg-byes after the ball has struck the batsman's body, but is deemed to have not offered a shot.

maidens- a spell of bowling in which no runs was added to score

fast approach- the ground a bowler runs on during his run up

pull- a type of shot offered by the batsman

3rd person- also referred to as 3rd umpire, video umpire

in or out- needs no explanation

full toss- a delivery that reaches the batsman on the full ie. without a bounce

sticky wicket- a drying wicket that is extremely difficult to bat on

box- a protective item shaped like a half shell and worn down the front of a
players trousers to protect his or her genitalia

bat for the opposite team- self explanatory, someone who plays for the team you are opposing.