Sunday, 25 January 2009


Sunday Stealing: The Sassy Meme 1. If you could say anything you wanted to say to George Bush, what would you say? Did it hurt when they extracted John Howard's head out of your ass?

2. If you had to be the mother of Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan, who would you choose and why? Oh I think Britney. As a mother I can understand half of what she went through with the press, even though fame is what she wanted it still wasn't good to suffer what she did in public eye and be judged.

3. You get to be Queen for a day. The kids are all taken care of, and you can spend as much money as you want. What do you do all day?
Read books, knowledge is real power that money can't buy.

4. Is there a song that brings tears to your eyes every time you hear it? If so, which one? You sang to me by Marc Anthony or Fly by Celine Dion

5. A fairy taps you on the shoulder and tells you that you can either have a perfect face or a perfect body for the rest of your life. Which do you choose? The body of course!

6. If you could live any place in the world and money was no object, where would you live and why? Where there is hardly any snow, and squirrels are aplenty...

7. What is your biggest regret in life? Signing on the dotted line

8. If you could go back and visit one person in your life who is now dead, and ask one question, what would that question be and why would you ask it? I wouldn't visit a person, I'd see my old dog Goldie and ask if he missed me as much as I missed him.

9. If you had the choice to age forward (like we are now) or aging backwards (think Benjamin Buttons) which would you choose and why? I would age back 20 years...reasons that only one other understands.

10. What will the epitaph on your headstone say?
Here in a coffin with handles of brass, buried upside so the world can kiss my ass!

Saturday, 24 January 2009

New Vocabulary 2009

Yet another amusing email I thought I would share with you all. Forget being politically correct, have a sense of humor. A few I have heard of before but with different names, the meaning is still the same. Do any of you have sayings that you would like to share with us, I know around the world, different sayings mean different things. Here in Australia going for a fag is having a smoke, being pissed is usually meaning drunk but can mean in a bad mood.

A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything then leaves.

The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a black box

The contents of a wonderbra, ie, extremely impressive when viewed from the outside but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 bums.

Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

What a shitty decision

How bizarre that one man got the sack just because he chose to wash his backside after number two's instead of doing what most do and wipe.

Amador Bernabe who is on a working visa from the Philippines was sacked by Townsville Engineering Industries. At a time most would consider a personal and private affair, the foreman noticed Mr Bernabe had a bottle of water and followed him. He was reported to the manager and next day told to wipe his arse the Australian way or be sacked. The manager musn't do either, he is so full of it, it's dribbling down his chin to suggest there is an Australian way.

What is the Australian way of wiping ones butt after using the toilet?? Fold? Scrunch? Dried gum leaves?

Friday, 16 January 2009

Calling all fans of Bush

If you think you have a keen eye and good throwing hand, test your skill here.
I wonder if Colin from Adelaide Green Porridge will have a go after reading this post of his, Howard Gets Gonged.

Thursday, 15 January 2009

Battle of the Sexes

Anyone recall the Cher music video aboard the USS MISSOURI? Back in 1989 when it first came out, it was viewed by some as risque.

Tonight on channel 9 we had a show with top 10 music clips that caused controversy. Cher's “If I Could Turn Back Time” was one of them. Millions of men, young and old watched and wished they could of been one of those sailors aboard the ship. Many women worldwide wished they could look like her. On this show tonight, a comment was made by one comedienne that she should of put some panties on and not been so brazen, she only wished she looked half as good. Who cares -- if she looks good, go for it. I don't care if she has been surgically enhanced, she looked good at 43 in that video and everyone knew it.

Then, Duran Duran's film clip, “Girls on Film” was another. Mainly because it showed two girls together, kissing and getting up close and personal. Comments for that film clip from the guys on the show all said it was hot!! I think there is double standards where some men are concerned. If it's acceptable and so hot for two women to be shown together, why is it not so acceptable for two men? Yes it is all about taste and quite often talked about this and what was said to me is , you can't argue taste. BUT, those men who gladly tuned in many times to view the video would of been outraged if there had been a video of two men. One can safely say the song would not have been as big a hit had men been involved. Humanity is made up of different sexualities, so if lesbians are an acceptable difference then so should homosexuals.

This post isn't about whether homosexuality is right or wrong, it isn't about own personal choices or tastes; what it is about is, if two members of the same sex together, i.e. males, is deemed as wrong by a lot of homophobes then how can two females not be?

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Sex with a Fake

One Cairns man isn't so bright. A sausage short of a bbq one thinks. This fool has broken into an adult shop and helped himself to a blow up doll on more than one occasion. He takes the alternative to real life sex out the back and does the deed. Not a smart move to leave DNA behind at the scene. I guess he preferred the plastic fantastic, look at photo below courtesy of the Cairns Post, she even went down on him.

Whilst on the sex subject, have a look at Tales of a big city cop, goes to show masturbation and cocoa butter when mixed together can be lethal.

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Sunday Stealing Meme...

Sunday Stealing: The New Year Meme

1. Looking back on 2008, what might your theme song have been? Good Charlotte's Unpredictable

2. If 2008 was a movie, who would play you? Sarah Palin cos she has balls

3. What was your greatest gift of 2008? the gift of friendship

4. What is your New Year Resolution, or, what are you committing to this year? The only thing I am committing to is close friends and my children, and finding a way to develop prawns that peel themselves.

5. If January could be represented by one song, what would it be? I can't stop the rain by Peter Criss...we are in the middle of monsoon season afterall

6. What do you wish for your body in 2009? to still be in working order

7. Name one new thing you would love to try in the New Year. to hit Jameeca with a snowball, the stuff dreams are made of lol

8. What do you long for 2009 to bring? A used pillow,

9. If that happened, how would you feel? richer than if I had all the gold from Fort Knox

10. Where would you love to vacation in 2009 if money were no object? Macchu Pichu or up in the mountains in snow

11. What would you like the theme of 2009 to be? Hit me with your best shot by Pat Benatar

12. If 2009 was a book, and the title was 5 words or less, what might the title be? Look whose laughing now !


You really have to wonder if there are two different sets of laws in Queensland.

In this story , two parents are charged after their 2 month old baby swallows an ecstasy tablet. The young child was placed in an induced coma, then released back into the parents care the next day after they were released on bail.
Ok, fair enough they did not deliberately give the child the tablet. Now it is reported that it was a mix up with medications. The Department of Child Safety is investigating.

YET.... if you buy six cans of alcohol between a week to fortnight maximum, you are considered and alcoholic. If you write online, and spend many hours once doing so, you are too consumed with your own life.

If you dare to stand up and question authority, you can guarantee you will face a litany of untruths and innuendo and in Queensland, innuendo is everything. Innuendo is seen as LAW, innuendo is deemed as FACT. Forget the presumption of innocence, you are GUILTY before you get to court. Emotions are seen as weakness, dare not cry, be angry, you must smile at all times, even when staring in the face of twisted half truths. At any given time they can change the rules to suit themselves.

This department has a mantra where they state to keep families together. They are a law unto themselves. The power this government department has reaches far beyond a true democracy and who keeps an eye on them ?? No one. The Minister and Premier don't give a rats about the little people, as long as they hold office and are seen to be doing their jobs as elected by the people, they don't have to investigate proper complaints.

Amazing how a two month old child can accidentally swallow an ecstasy tablet!!

The need for child safety is paramount, the need to rid the department of Hitler type know alls is another.


The department director general, Norelle Deeth states..

"In making assessments such as these, the department consults with inter-agency professionals including police, pediatricians and other health experts.

"These professionals inform the department's assessment of the potential future risk of harm, taking into consideration the particular circumstances surrounding a matter.

"In cases such as these where families reside in other jurisdictions, the department will work closely with other relevant agencies to ensure the safety of the child and will provide support to the family."

As reported in the News bulletin on WIN tv tonight, it was also stated that the parents got the infant's colic medication mixed up with the ecstasy tablet. I have never heard of any medication in tablet form for a child under 6 months for colic. I know there are liquid medications available to treat such an ailment but who is more stupid here, the parents, the police or the department when a tablet can be mistaken for a colic remedy? Get real. The parents are now back in Victoria after intense media interest. Still, it is incredulous how the law is interpreted to whoever is in charge and at times, those who makes decisions do get it wrong and just because they hold the career position they do, does not mean they are right, for some,the power goes to their head and don't they just know it. It is a great pity no one can see that for all the good this Department of Child Safety does, they certainly do a lot of irreparable damage as well.
Check here and here again for more of the same stories , don't take my word for it, see for yourself exactly what is happening.