Monday, 31 March 2008
Sunday, 30 March 2008
Isn't he beautiful?
Cheeta from the movies Tarzan is 76. Not many chimpanzees live past 50. Cheeta has a life of comfort where he paints, plays piano and just strolls around in the sun. Cheeta was discovered in 1932 by an animal trainer and soon after he appeared with Johnny Weissmuller in Tarzan And His Mate. He has outlived Weissmuller who died in 1984 and Maureen O'Sullivan (Jane) who died in 1998 . Cheeta was quite fond of a smoke and drink but has been forbidden to indulge since he arrived at the Cheeta Primate Foundation at Palm Springs (Creative Habitats and Enrichment for Endangered and Threatened Apes). He suffers from diabetes but all in all, still has good health and still retains all his own teeth. Now how many humans can say the same at 76. Diet coke, fresh fruit, vegetables and hamburgers are part of his diet now. Ever since I started to watch Tarzan movies, I fell in love with this chimp and wanted one. Bless Cheeta and may he be with us for quite a few more years and spend his days in comfort.
Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it. And the nominees this year, in reverse order, are
7. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk.
Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. The resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.
6. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6' 2" tall and
weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow tube approx. 30" long and 3" in diameter.
The tube's other end was, for reasons unknown, inserted into his rectum and was the cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to his family very awkward.
5. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.
4. A 22-year-old, man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70 foot railroad trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric
Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground" Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was "Major trauma."
3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate, was hospitalized.
2. Employees in a medium sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched.
Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later
described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation
of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but
the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.
AND THE WINNER.....(ouch....)
1. Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course.
Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his balls in the machine. Much to
his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's balls in place, thus wedging them solidly in the
mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain , collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for him, the height of the ball
washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and his balls were the weakest link.
Sanchez's balls ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other
testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.
To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez
was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course.
Note: This last one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, we have allowed it.
Saturday, 29 March 2008
When animals are culled to aid the survival of an endangered species and the subjects being culled are becoming over populated, one would think it be done as humanely as possible. What of the Harp seals who are slaughtered after three weeks of age.This year will see 275,000 Harp seals killed over a weekly time frame. The hunting of Harp seals is done to prop the fishing industry in as fish stock are dwindling. A pelt from a pup will sell for approx $78 US to places like Norway, China, Finland, Hong Kong, Italy and Russia for fashions and the blubber is sometimes used for oils. These pups are killed in one of three ways, a wooden club that resembles a baseball bat, a hakapic, which is a traditional Norwegian pole and hook device or a firearm which is rarely put to use because of its costs. Quite often seals are still alive for hours after being clubbed and then they are skinned and or pulled onto decks of boats by the hooks. The slaughter of Harp seals is not for the viability of another species, it is not humane. The US has banned Canadian seal products since the early 70s and the European Union has banned the white pelts of baby seals since 1983. Wear a synthetic fur.
Its one thing to have it served on a platter at a restaurant but how would you like to ride a giant squid? Check this out, you can ride a huge mechanical squid to an elephant in the city of Nantes, France. What a blast, sure the adults would be as enthusiastic as the children.
Friday, 28 March 2008
Henry Alexander is nothing short of a disgusting piece of shit. This animal raped an 85 year old woman who was in a nursing home, suffering from dementia. Although he pleaded not guilty, he was found guilty by jury trial. How does a 3 year jail sentence, with 2 and a half years suspended, amount to justice. He will spend a paltry 6 months behind bars for what he did to a defenceless aged woman. Mr Alexander was in a position of trust and care, working at the nursing home. The sentencing judge ordered he only spend 6 months in prison due to good character , yeah like what kind of character attacks and rapes anyone let alone an elderly , incapacitated person. Filthy pig should be shot.
Thursday, 27 March 2008
Man pregnant!! Wow a break through in technology and science. Women all over the world will rejoice at the prospect of men giving birth and knowing what us females go through. Fanciful thinking of course. The 'man' who is reported to be 5 months pregnant, is internally still a woman. Having been born a woman, Thomas Beatie from Oregon has had gender reassignment processes done, is recognised as a man and is legally married to a woman. So for all intents and purposes , Thomas is a man yet has chosen to keep all female reproductive organs . If he wanted a child so bad, why doesnt his 'wife' become pregnant and how much of a man does Thomas really intend to be when he wants to look and live like a man , be recognised as a man yet wants to have a child as a woman. The child in years to come will be able to say, "Oh my Dad is really my mum". How bizarre and stupid. Sex changes and being transgender is one thing He obviously wants it both ways!
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
The idea that the legal age for drinking be increased to 21 is receving wide spread support based on a poll that shows 68% in favour at time of posting. Young adults will go behind parents back and try alcohol, be it alone or through peer pressure. By moving the legal age up will not stop underage drinking. How many parents supply their kids with alcohol as 'schoolies' week. At the Gold Coast, a notorious spot for teens celebrating the end of their school years, Hotel/motel rooms get trashed, young people get arrested and property gets damaged. Parents happily supplying beer and spirits in ridiculous amounts.
A prime example is a father who holds a birthday party for his son who had turned 16. Over 700 teenagers arrived at the party, the father later stating he was the only security present. Now how can one man control 700 kids who are affected by alcohol? The same man said to the then mayor, Kevin Byrne, he would do it all again. Neighbours were terrorised, property destroyed. Some parents spend too much time tree hugging and cultivating their green to even acknowledge the seriousness of allowing these kind of things to occur. Raising the legal age for alcohol will not work when adults supply liqour to minors, and think it is acceptable.
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Abu Bakar Bashir , smiles as he incites followers and fellow Muslims to beat up tourists. He also said infidels such as Western tourists ruin moral values by exposing their skin at the beach. Bashir was heard calling Western tourists 'worms, snakes and maggots'. He calls on young Muslims to beat up tourists and urges them to die like martyrs.
Bashir was jailed for conspiracy over the 2002 Bali bombings, his conviction was overturned, he was released from jail in 2006, after serving just 30 months. Here is what he had to say back then about the bombings.
If he was arrested he promised to "fight back with the powers I have".
"I think the bomb was done by foreign intelligence, especially US intelligence. The indications are Americans and Jews did it to justify the claims that have been made so far that Indonesia is a terrorist haven. What they mean by terrorists is Muslims. "So to prove their theory they created the incident in Bali."
The death sentences faced by the Bali nine (two still sit on death row) over there drug smuggling will not be commuted to life sentences and yet this radical extremist gets a basic slap on the wrist for his involvement in killing 88 people in just one attack alone. The Bali Nine who smuggled drugs went into the country at their own risk, the tourists and locals killed and maimed did not. One rule for some yet another rule for others. This sends out the message that one of their own will be treated more fairly being part of an extremist group who call for the killing of innocent people.
Amrozi the smiling asassin one of the Bali bombers and his accomplices may still escape his death sentence if granted clemency by the Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, who faces a backlash if the death penalty is carried out.
One can hardly call this justice. Bashir is a madman and there is no doubt he is a major player in inciting hatred and violence. Thankfully not all Muslims support this lunatic.
Monday, 24 March 2008
"When Im tired and thinking cold
I hide in my music, forget the day"....BOSTON, More than a feeling.
Brings back memories hearing songs of the 70s and 80s being played on television. Transported back to a time, singing along with the lyrics. Can't help but smile and when looking at the fashions worn by our favourite musicians back then and those hair styles are something else. Yet, when hearing the music , you suddenly recall all the words and unconsciously sing along with them. Music trends change with time and what is the 'in' thing to listen to today will not be tomorrow. REO Speedwagon, Air Supply, Cutting Crew, Nazareth, Bangles, Mike & the Mechanics, Cheap Trick, Toto, Survivor, Poison, Boston, Europe, Foreigner, Joshua Kadison,Whitesnake, Bad English, Michael Bolton and who will forget the tartan terrors, Bay City Rollers ! I can almost hear the collective groans and giggles now. Still the likes of Ac/Dc will never leave my Cd collection :-)
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Sunday, 23 March 2008
If crime, motive, method and forensics is your thing then Forensics and Fiction by award winning author D.P. Lyle, M.D. is well worth the time. He explains in a way that is easy to comprehend . Many writers of novels and movies to television show writers consult Lyle seek answers from the ordinary to the macabre. The book is written in five chapters, covering, Illnesses, Doctors and Hospitals, 2..Poisons, Toxins, Medications and Drugs, 3..The Police, the Crime Scene, and the Crime Lab, 4..The coroner, the Body, and the Autopsy, 5..Odds and Ends_Mostly Odds. With writers wanting the most accurate information the scenarios go from, 'Can a Corpse Be Bled After Death', to 'How Would a Mummified Corpse Be Identified' and 'Can Blood and DNA Be Found on a Knife Years Later?'. Compelling reading, its the kind of book that even though you have read it, you can go back and read it again and it will still hold as much fascination. Thank you Lordsomber.
Saturday, 22 March 2008
These birds was at local pet shop we just happened to find ourselves in today. The sulphur crested cockatoo is a 20 year old female and It was truly amazing to see her still sitting on her perch greeting customers as she has done for many years. A huge cancerous growth was destined to end 'Sadie's' life but after undergoing successful surgery, she is once again repeating, "Hello", to one and all.
What was I doing 10 years ago...
I was living in Brisbane, being a mother.
Five things on my to-do list today...
Load my car up with items for rubbish tip
Attempt to complete all laundry
Read and write
Challenge someone to quiz
Snacks I enjoy...
Prawns, scallops and abalone
Almonds at the moment
Things I would do if I was a billionaire...
Buy my children a house each. Travel to the Tree of Knowledge. Have a holiday on the Cook Islands. Make a generous donation to animal shelters. Buy a new car and computer and then hide in a log cabin in the snow Lol.
Three of my bad habits...
I don't get enough sleep
Drink too much coffee
Spend too much time putting up with toxic people
Five places I have lived...
(In no particular order)
Five jobs I have had...
Fruit sorter (glamorous isn't it)
Hertz Rent a Car
Retail shop assistant
Office worker and car detailer
Aged Care Catering
Five people who I would like to tag.
James @ Nourishing ...that's 3 can't think of anyone else at this point
Friday, 21 March 2008
You got to love this guy... This is a true story about a recent
wedding that took place at Clemson University It was in the local newspaper and even
Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.
He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.
As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.
So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.
He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.
The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you!'
Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.'
He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.
While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.
His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000
Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.
A young 16 year old girl has won the Miss Surrey contest. Nothing unusual about that but it is the first time a female of that size has won. Chloe Marshall is beautiful in her own right no matter her size. Comments that she is too fat to win Miss England title are discouraging to females of similar size considering the other end of the scale that was posted about earlier in here. Yes that was an extreme, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Chloe looks good.
Thursday, 20 March 2008
I just wanted you to comfort me
When I called you late last night you see
I was fallin' into love
Yes, I was crashin' into love
Oh of all the words you sang to me
About life, the truth and being free, yeah
You sang to me, oh how you sang to me
Girl, I live off how you make me feel
So I question all this being real
'Cause I'm not afraid to love
For the first time I'm not afraid of love
Oh, this day seems made for you and me
And you showed me what life needs to be
Yeah, you sang to me, oh you sang to me
All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
Just to think you live inside of me
I had no idea how this could be
Now I'm crazy for your love
Can't believe I'm crazy for your love
The words you said you sang to me
And you showed me where I wanna be
you sang to me, oh you sang to me
The video clip to this is posted here last year...
por todas partes estoy allí usted seré
Wednesday, 19 March 2008
Tuesday, 18 March 2008
Memories of you are like drifting clouds in the sky full of tears when they cry.
The sun will dry them up and send them away until another day.
I hear your voice singing on the wind, playing sorrowful words on my heart strings.
I feel your love tender and free, whispering love undying for me.
Dampen my anger, mend my heart, re-light my soul,
show me and guide me to my eternal rest,
So we can run together by the ocean of still waters.
An eternity of tears under bright cold starlight to soothe my fears.
Eternal love has no peers.
Monday, 17 March 2008
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite !
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite !
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite !
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite !
11:00 am - Went to the vet. Bummer.
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite !
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite !
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite !
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite !
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite !
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
eat something in order
to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps
me going is my dream
of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once
again vomit on the
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its
headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into
their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their
accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration
of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies."
I must learn what
this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was
walking. I must try
this again tomorrow - but at the top of the
I am convinced that the other prisoners here
are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to
return. He is
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe
him communicate with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he
reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him
in an elevated cell,
so he is safe.
Easter Christian – What is the Significance?
What is the significance of Easter to the Christian? For some people, Easter strictly belongs to the realm of the Easter bunny and family get-togethers. For others, Easter is primarily a time of celebrating Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection. For many, Easter -- like Christmas -- is celebrated as a combination of the secular and the sacred.
Understanding Easter from a Christian perspective is vitally important. The celebration of Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection from the dead is crucial for believers in Jesus’ Christ. Without this doctrine, there is no Christianity and no Christian Easter.
Beyond doctrine is the knowledge of the truth that Jesus died to pay the penalty of death that we deserve for our sin, was buried, and rose with a glorified body, gaining victory over death and the grave. When we put our faith in Him by believing through faith alone in Christ alone, we have the promise of one day having a body like our Lord’s and reigning with Him in heaven.
Philippians 3:20-21 states, “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.”
2 Timothy 2:11-12 says “Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. . .” This gives hope to the Christian at Easter time and throughout the year.
Easter Christian – The History
The history of Christian Easter is told about in the book, A History of The Christian Church1. The first definite record of the celebration of Christian Easter is in connection with the visit of Polycarp (the bishop of Smyrna) to Anicetus (the bishop of Rome) in 154 or 155 in order to come to an agreement about the time of the observance of Easter. Polycarp represented the more ancient custom of observing Easter with a vigil, ending with the Lord’s Supper, through the night of the fourteenth of the month Nisan (month of the Jewish calendar), like the Jewish Passover, regardless of what day of the week this day might fall.
Anicetus represented the Roman custom that was also followed by some parts of the East to have the Easter feast always on Sunday. They did not come to an agreement, but continued on each with their own practice. After further disputes over dates within the Asia Minor church, the problem became so serious that meetings were held around 190 that decided in favor of having Easter celebrated on Sunday. At a council in 314, the Roman date of Easter was approved.
In the third century in the Christian church, “the great event of the year was the Easter season. The period immediately before was one of fasting in commemoration of Christ’s sufferings. Customs differed in various parts of the empire. In Rome a forty hours’ fast and vigil was held in remembrance of Christ’s rest in the grave. This was extended, by the time of the Council of Nicaea to a forty days’ Lent. All fasting ended with the dawn of Easter morning, and the Pentecostal period of rejoicing then began. In that time there was no fasting or kneeling in prayer in public worship. Easter eve was the favorite season for baptism, that the newly initiate might participate in the Easter joy.”2 At the Council of Nicaea a uniform date for the observance of Easter was ordered.
Easter Christian – Personal Reflections on Christian Easter
Easter (Christian) is the reality of our Savior Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection which transcends failed hopes in things that come up hollow and empty. Out of the pain, suffering, and shame Jesus experienced on our behalf, truth came. Life everlasting came. What a glorious hope you can share with all those who are looking expectantly for the Truth.
Around the world the commercialisation of Easter is a boon to chocolate companies. Children will wake to begin the day gorging on chocolate. Parents will spend mega dollars on chocolate and partake in a public holiday that is significant to Christians. Is better to have a child who understands and knows what Easter is all about than one who climbs the walls after over indulging. Easter break here in Australia is seen as an excuse to have a four day weekend and drink copious amounts of alchol while the true meaning of Easter is lost.
Of course I love ya darlin
You're a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word
So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin there to grab
So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there
No sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best
I'm tellin' ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think its very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs
I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get
No matter what u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the footy's on
And fetch another beer.
Japan has a long history of whaling. However, current whaling conducted by Japan is a source of political dispute between pro- and anti-whaling countries and organizations. It uses a loophole in a 1986 global whaling moratorium that allows "lethal research" on the giant mammals.
Over the weekend the Japanese media has labelled Australia hypocritical as it plans on a controlled culling of the Western Grey Kangaroo, inferring that Australia is killing a national icon.
Mr Peter Garrett the Federal Minister for the Enviroment, Heritage and the Arts supported the culling of kangaroos, saying humane, properly administered programs were sometimes necessary. "There's an immense difference between commercial, so called 'scientific' whaling and Australia'a scientific, sustainable and humane management of a non-threatened kangaroo, which has over populated an area, to save rare and threatened plants and animals on that site," he said last night.
Australia has plans to cull 400 Western Grey Kangaroos from wetlands near Canberra. The culling is to be carried out by licensed shooters who will shoot and kill humanely. The cullling of the kangaroos is deemed necesary to protect the wetlands for endangered wildlife and fauna. When a species overruns an area and threatens the habitat and food chain of another species then controlled humane culling is called for. What threat does the Humpback and Minkie whales have on the stocks of the world's oceans? The lethal capture of these whales is not humane and the whales are not always dead when winched aboard the whaling vessels. Therefore for Australia to be labelled hypocritical is nonsense, they do not even compare in any way.
Sunday, 16 March 2008
Saturday, 15 March 2008
to the insidious disease of breast cancer.
It was sent via email.
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out!
Near Genoa, Italy is a small abandoned village. What would cause people to leave such a beautiful place? To be fair, though, the ruins left behind are aesthetically compelling in their own right. The structures are remarkably intact and provocative.
This site has the most amazing pictures of abandoned towns/places around the world, worthwhile having a look at. Two of the places I didn't see was 'The Lost City of the Incas' Machu Picchu and Wat Phra Mahathat, Authaya in Thailand . Although they are not post modern, still places of mystery . Be easy to lose oneself and appreciate these surroundings.
For something totally amazing, have a look at the site below. Definitely work of the dedicated.
The smell of fresh banana cake filled the air on an otherwise miserable day , rain pelting down as it had been for last month. A minor let up and off in the car to see how far the rivers had come up in flood. Mmmm dinner time, an easy favourite, apricot chicken. Reclining in the lounge room, a feel good movie 'Matilda'.
Friday, 14 March 2008
Case A scenario:: Single parent,not working with 3 children aged from 4 to 13. Paying $160 per week rent.
Possible Payments:: Single Parenting Pension $537.70 per fortnight (pf)
Payments for children: $145.46 X 2 and as 1 child is 13 , $189.00 = $ 479.00
Rent Assistance:: receives maximum amount $140.00
Possible payments excluding pharmaceutical allowances and if no child support is being paid, $1, 156.70 pf.
July every year a payment is made to all families whether they are single parent families or partnered. The amount is $600 per child. In case A, it would be $1,800.00. Plus any reconciliation payments that are payable if it is shown that the recipient did not recieve as much funding as they may have been entitled to.
If the single parent is female and has another child, a Maternity Allowance of $4, 187.00 is paid to her usually within two weeks of giving birth. I have spoken about this before but there is a high percentage of young girls and women who are having children, conviniently tell centrelink ( gov't welfare agency) they do not recall who the sperm donor is. In July 2008 the Maternity Allowance will rise to $5000.00 per child, eg; twins $10,000.00 and so forth.
Newstart Allowance (dole) Single rate of pay btwn 16-17 @ home $194.50 pf
Single +18 @ home $233.90
Single and 16 away from home $355.00 pf
Partnered no children $355.40 pf
Partnered with children $390.20 each. Which ever partner is listed as seeking work, the other partner claims the Family Tax Benefit (FTB) which varies on childrens ages as well.
The Aged pensioners receive compared to the above tables a paltry $265 a week to live on.
These figures are an approximation only on base rates and may vary due to individual circumstances.
From the time the four larger-than-life figures adorned in shining black leather, metallic studs and sequins take the stage, the next two hours provides the ultimate KISS experience – there’s pyro a-go-go, pillars of flame, fire breathing, blood spewing and rocket launching guitars, plus some of rock’s greatest hits “Rock And Roll All Nite”, “I Was Made For Lovin’ You”, “Detroit Rock City”, “God Gave Rock & Roll To You”, “Shout It Out Loud” and “Love Gun”.
At a reported $149 per ticket, I'd raid the piggy bank to see this band.
Thursday, 13 March 2008
There is currently much conjecture regarding the effects of the bite from this spider. It has been linked with a spreading skin ulceration known as necrotic arachnidsm, which, as yet, has no easy cure. Current treatment involves a series of painful skin grafts in an attempt to halt the continued spread. At this stage it seems likely that this disease is caused, not by the venom of the spider, but by certain bacteria present on the spider's fangs at the time of the bite. If this is the case, it is also likely that several different types of spider may cause this painful skin problem, including white-tails, black house spiders and wolf spiders. It is also evident that such a condition does not always develop in the case of a bite from these spiders so it may depend greatly on the reaction of the bite victim with some individuals being highly susceptible because of an allergic reaction to the bacteria.
Who is to blame for the sights of bone thin women in the modeling industry? Is it buyers who dictate what size is the norm or manufacturers. Women and men, do beome anorexic or bulimic all in the name of fashion. Do we blame the flamboyant lifestyle of modeling as world class models have been placed on a non-existant pedestal. Jeans can now be bought in size 0 for women. Each country has sizes that vary form the next. If these outrageously thin women are continually paraded on television and in magazines, it is of no wonder that people are dying to be what is percieved as perfect. Being morbidly obese isn't healthy either so where do we draw the line.
What is average in the world today, we are all different.
1: The hugs from my children, can never have enough
2: The few close friends I have who are the difference especially Lord Somber
3: Cappuccinos, lattes and espresso, morning must haves
4: My car, would be lost without it
5: P.C enables me to explore the world around via the internet
6: Monday mornings when school goes back
7: Music and books, provides a calming balance
8: The Sunday Mail newspaper, disaster without it
9:My mobile, has to be surgically removed from my hand
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times.?"
"Well, husband # 1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function;but said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the art method.
"Husband # 6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........God I miss him.
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?"
'Your with the GOVERNMENT; This time I KNOW I'm gonna get Screwed."
Australia has the chocolate bilby to hand out at Easter time along with the usual eggs and rabbits. If lucky enough to receive anything, this year I would like a chocolate squirrel. Squirrels are cute. Yeah , yeah I know most people consider them pests and I probably would too if Australia had of imported the squirrel instead of the pesky cane toad (Bufo marinus).
There are quite a few countries that have a death penalty if caught bringing drugs into the country or have drugs on their person. Why is it that many foreigners are in prison, some with life sentences and others waiting on death row. It is no secret that if you enter these countries importing drugs you face possible death. The penalties are widely advertised at airports, travel agencies and throughout the internet. Stupidity and the belief that you wont get caught are common. You would not expect someone to place their hand on the hotplate of a stove, knowing they will more than likely be burned, same as for carrying drugs into another country. Death by firing squad and hanging are barbaric in the extreme so if one enters a country in possession of narcotics then it should come as no surprise when sentence is passed. In Australia there is no death penalty for such crimes yet you will find petitions and calls for loved ones in this ghastly situation to be saved. You know the risks, you take the risks, you suffer the consequences of your own actions. Sympathies are reserved for the families of these drug mules.
Scotland, it was believed that she had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through her meagre possessions, they found
this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Ireland. The old lady's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the North Ireland Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on her simple, but eloquent, poem. And this little old Scottish lady, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this "anonymous" poem winging across the Internet:
Crabby Old Woman
What do you see, nurses ...................... What do you see?
What are you thinking ........... When you're looking at me?
A crabby old woman ........... Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, . . With faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food .......................... And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice................"I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice .................The things that you do,
And forever is losing .............................A stocking or shoe?
Who, resisting or not, ..................... Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, ...................... The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?........... .... Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, ........You're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am .................................As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, ........................... As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten .With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . Who love one another.
A young girl of sixteen .......................With wings on her feet
Dreaming that soon now .......................... A lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at twenty, ........................ My heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows .................. That I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now, ........................... I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide ............... And a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty, ......................... My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ..................... With ties that should last.
At forty, my young sons . .Have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me . To see I don't mourn
At fifty once more,...................... Babies play round my knee,
Again we know children, .................... My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, . My husband is dead,
I look at the future, ..................................I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .Young of their own,
And I think of the years ............. And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old woman.............................. And nature is cruel;
Tis jest to make old age ................................ Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, ...................... Grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone ..................... Where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ............... A young girl still dwells,
And now and again, ....................... My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, ............................ I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living ................................. Life over again.
I think of the years ....................... All too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact .......... That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people, . Open and see,
Not a crabby old woman; ................ Look closer....see, ME!
This was just received in an email and I wanted to share it :-)
Ritual circumcision is the covenant G-d has established with the Jewish people through the commandment of circumcision.
Judaism views body and soul as holy partners in serving G-d. Therefore, the bris is performed on the most physical part, for all of man is holy before his Creator. Bris Milah joins the forces of body and soul together in serving G-d.
The Bris ceremony has two parts:
the actual circumcision and the naming.
It is customary to honor family and friends to participate in holding the baby at various parts of the bris. The highest honor is to be the sandak, who holds the baby during the actual circumcision. It is not required to have a minyan- a group of ten at the bris. The parents can choose to have a private ceremony on the eighth day and have a reception on a later day when they are more rested.
On the Ellen DeGeneres Show Feb. 20th, 2008 Christina Aguilera proudly spoke about her new son Max. The subject of his Bris was brought up. Much laughter and it was revealed that following tradition, a celebration was held in the form of a party. Christina says that her house was decorated in penis shaped balloons and giggled like a school girl over it. Beliefs and celebrations aside, who the hell goes on national television and openly laughs about their son's circumcision and the balloons. As was pointed out to me after discussing this with a friend, imagine how that child will feel when in 15 years his peers taunt him over it, will he be pleased that she announced to the world in the manner that she did. Wouldn't it be his choice to inform people of such a personal issue?