Sunday 31 August 2008

Congratulations Noah



A win is a great result in a sporting match, and I am pleased that Noah is happy to play whether his team wins or loses. Yesterday however they didn't just win 36-22 but this Under 10 Junior Cowboy also scored his first try. He showed me his award which also gave him a free subway roll and took it all in his stride as another day on the field of play. Congratulations Noah on achieving your first try but also for the attitude you have.

D. I. Y is NOT always Best


We all know guys like to potter around the house and get into D.I.Y (Do it Yourself). This welder from Malaysia takes the cake...looking for a way to lengthen his penis, poking it through a nut and then finding it stuck. He was hoping the weight of the nut would provide him with extra length, alas he ended up with a large dose of embarrassment and a a sore penis that will in time heal after top layer of skin had to be removed and blood drained to be free but the memories will last a life time no doubt. If he could get his appendage in a nut, maybe he should of looked at width instead of length.

Thursday 28 August 2008

Please Explain



Whether you love her or hate her, Pauline Hanson can't be faulted for speaking her mind and being honest. Bless her, Pauline says after a failed relationship that she is looking for love again but finding it difficult as so many of Australian men are gay! We all know this isn't so but she makes me laugh because Pauline isn't afraid to say what most of us are thinking but don't have the nerve to stand up and say. Look around, girls it is no secret that many Aussie men are equipped with bad manners, forget to become familiar with deodorant, think that casual dress sense means shorts and thongs, fart in bed and whose idea of foreplay is 30 seconds (if you're lucky). Happy hunting Pauline...

Mum...can I have a mobile ?


Mobile phones for children seems to be a common thing these days. Watching A Current Affair tonight one mother who had purchased a mobile for her 11 year old son was having a right old bitch when the bill came to three thousand dollars. Well H E L L O mum, did you not think that giving your kid a phone with internet access he wouldn't use it? A person under 16 cannot open even a pre-paid account with Vodafone so the mother would of had to set it all up, including internet access. Then she had the hide to say, as a single mother she couldn't afford the bill. After being aghast at the expenses her little cherub accrued, and a complaint to the carrier, a deal was worked out where only $250 AU would be payable. The phone was brought so the boy could use it in emergencies but it doesn't take a genius to clue in that kids being curious and more internet savvy these days that he would not even log in. Nice when you can use the excuse of being a single parent for not being able to afford expenses that you turned a blind eye to in the first instance. Sorry but yes, she was blonde !

Sista Sin




Jams over at The Poor Mouth has a post about the Nun's beauty contest, well just for a laugh it was mentioned that Sista Sin would enter....

Monday 25 August 2008

Truancy will cost families dollars


The Australian Government will introduce new laws apparently designed to bring a halt to truancy. The proposal will see welfare payments to the parents/carers of children who regularly miss large amounts of time at school , slashed or stopped for a period of 13 weeks.
This legislation will be hard to police. Granted there are far too many parents who don't do enough to ensure their children attend school but then there are those who tear their hair out as kids often wag school without parental knowledge and yet no matter how hard they try, are powerless to stop it. Each case no doubt will be dealt with on its own merits and exceptions are going to be made. Truancy occurs not only in families where the parents are receiving welfare but working families as well. Stopping welfare payments may spur parents into action but what measures are going to be put in place for children whose parents are NOT on welfare? Education is vital for all children regardless of social class or status yet if these laws are to be applied then how do you effectively apply them to families where no welfare is paid. I think it is a good idea that parents who don't give a dam will have a rude wake up call and be forced to finally get their own act together. It is no surprise that kids who don't attend school on a regular basis will be lacking in skills when it is time to join the workforce. The easiest option is to go on the dole and there again we add to another welfare dependant generation. Is this the kind of society we want where generation after generation live off government cheques or do we collectively take a stand and say no more and get active and become involved in keeping your child/ren in school.

Sunday 24 August 2008

Elevator Granny


Get this for FREE @ http://flashandlayouts.com

What Tarot Card are You


You are The Moon


Hope, expectation, Bright promises.


The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.


The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Friday 22 August 2008

Lets all Mount Isa


Lots of stories on the net about mayor John Maloney asking all ugly women to go there if they are looking for a man. You have to be kidding. In all towns there are men and women who are not pin up material, this dry dusty shithole of a town is no better. Lots of fly in , fly out jobs, you work 12 hour shifts to afford to live in the dump and the cost of living is through the roof. In winter it can get to below 2c, in summer over 40c. The CBD is full of drunks who think nothing of accosting you for cigarettes or money. Quite often you will get an earful of abuse and threatened if you say no. Who wants to live in a town where it is common to hear men and women screaming out at the top of their voice, "You fucking c**t"...or "I'm gonna smash you're fucking head in you motherf**ker". Charming, and this is not just men, women do it as well. If you are bored on a Friday or Saturday night, head off down to the Buffs Club or out to the Irish Club. The drunks are spewing out the doors let alone on the sidewalk and in the bins. If that doesn't take your fancy, hop along to the Overlander, Eastern Suburbs Bowls Club (one of the best jobs I had), Concordia Club, RSL, The Red Earth Hotel, The Isa Hotel,The Tavern, The Barkly Hotel, Fourth Avenue Bowls Club, The Shack...incidentally which is in the riverbed. Oops I forgot the Golf Club, now that is not quite in the town itself.

You have to form a love for pig hunting or far and away fishing to relieve the boredom. Many head out of town to do some fossicking or travel to Karumba for some R & R. You could always travel out to Lake Moondarra for a swim and try fishing but with copious amounts of weed, water lice and lots of dirt and rocks to navigate, stuff all shade , who in their right mind wouldn't get bored with it all. Oh the kiddies park on Railway Avenue has play equipment for the kids but how do you fit in dozens of families when only so many public bbq's are available and again, bugger all shade. Most of the other parks and backyards are full of the dreaded bindis. They bloody hurt digging them out of your feet and if you think that is bad, wait until you step on a goats head (a thick thorn that sort of resembles a mini rose thorn).

The amount of people whose marriages/partnerships crumble in Mount Isa is a blister waiting to burst. Because of the long hours usually involved in work, many become lonely and it is not uncommon to hear about who is bed hopping with whom while bread winner is at work.

The town smells, the stench is so bad it can make you feel quite ill. Xstrata mining have pollution controls in place but it matters none when you call mine control and report how bad the fumes are, rarely do you see the stacks shut down and the town is enveloped in the stink of sulphur. Don't be fooled by the mine saying the lead levels are safe, what a crock of, there are incidents now of toddlers having unsafe lead levels in their blood, this is nothing new, 12 years ago and way beyond the warnings were there and all the mines did then was pay for the blood testing. The city centre is built right on the doorstep of the mines, it is such an eyesore. My own daughter was contaminated with lead in this muck hole.

So the town boasts the greatest rodeo but gee they moved it to the racetrack which is virtually in the middle of town, and the residents have to put up with the dust that covers everything and an influx of drunk horny and obnoxious cowboys looking to score for the weekend.
The town has it's characters as do all towns , some awesome wildlife and unreal lightening shows when storms arrive but the bad far outweighs the good.

The beauty of the men and women mean jack , nothing makes up for the shithole Mount Isa is, as a sticker I once spotted said...HAPPINESS IS MOUNT ISA IN YOUR REAR VISION MIRROR !!

This Cat has 9 Lives...


We have all heard the saying that cats have nine lives, I think Chloe the moggy used up a few on her ride atop an ambulance being driven at 100km/h with lights flashing and sirens screaming. Chloe managed to hang on for the 13km ride and was only realised when she alerted her owner, the driving ambulance officer to her presence when he arrived to pick up the patient.

Wednesday 20 August 2008

Childhood Heroes

On June 13th this year was Childhood Hero Day. Megan at Imaginif asked for support in this worthy cause as it raises funds to help with the expense of fighting child abuse. I was supposed to dress as the Flying Nun but with various projects, Hero Day was pushed to the back of my thoughts but never forgotten.

Today I finally donned the habit , alas it was not the Flying Nun one wanted but the end results were just the same. Through much side busting laughter I drove around the CBD and made sure I was seen at a few places by many people , not just ones I know personally.
Finally came school pick up, the looks on the faces of the children was one of amusement and curiosity. The first words spoken was not the likes of "Hi mum" or "Where did you get that", but "Are you Catholic?" The second response was, "Are you religious now?" They thought it was cool and laughed and giggled all the way home.

Megan had this to say in her comments:

How cool if all adults acted as child heroes for all kids.

Thank God we have plenty of new days to start afresh. Thank God we are allowed to make mistakes and to try again. Thank God we have support networks and heroes that don’t wear their underpants on the outside - people like all those that make comments on our blogs - normal people living normal lives and trying to make the world a better, safer place for all of our kids.
We can all be heroes any day of the week/year and it only takes a small amount of time to make the biggest difference as shown today.


The Answer is...

The answer to "What is it" post is as follows, and Ginro was correct.


The clockwork mechanism on this 1870s burglar alarm was wound up and the upright lever set, before the device was placed at the foot of a door and a spike pushed into the floor. If an intruder tried to enter, the lever would be pushed down and set off the surprisingly loud and effective bell.

Now who knows what this particular item below is, any ideas?

Saturday 16 August 2008

WHAT IS IT?


Another one , who knows what this item is?

Justice Northern Territory Style

While on the subject of our justice system, I came across this story. If you have a child who sustained a broken leg, they shit their pants and are tossed outside in the back yard to lay in dirt all day with no food or water. The child suffers a heart attack and dies. An autopsy reveals that 1.5 litres of pus was drained from her leg and the child had a treatable blood and bone infection. The two women who were carers for this girl are found not guilty of manslaughter. What in the hell goes on and who is responsible for the condition this girl was in when she died? A broken limb would no doubt cause pain and this young girl would of been in massive agony with the resulting infection yet no medical attention was sought for her. Wouldn't it be interesting to see how a jury came to this conclusion and the two women walked free, no burden of responsibility on their shoulders. Is the Northern Territory justice system unlike the rest of Australia? I am curious as to what sets out this case as where the women taking care of this child are not held responsible, ok they might not have killed her but they owed that little girl a duty of care to get her medical treatment and in not doing so, they are guilty of neglect. The child was seen the day prior to her death by NT Family and Children's Services where she was lying on the floor crying. The child welfare system in Australia needs a massive wake up call and not just because they make fucked up decisions like this one but they also have no idea on other cases and do NOT always have the best solutions within their means!

Why is this Funny??

A Northern Territory man applies to the courts for an domestic violence ( AVO) order against his former girlfriend stating that she threatened to cut his penis off and laughter can be heard around the court room.

How is it that with all the publicity given to domestic violence allegedly perpetrated by men met with disdain and contempt , yet when a man seeks protection from a woman who is alleged to hunt him down and cut off his penis is funny?

You can bet that if a woman was to be seated in front of the courts seeking an order and lets say hypothetically he threatened to cut off her breasts or knife her in the genitals, there would be no laughter heard and the law would be only too quick to grant the order.

I get sick and tired of hearing how bad women get it from men yet a man obviously feels threatened enough to take it to a court to protect himself, this particular man has to endure sniggers and laughter.

Often there are cases before courts where men are jailed for breaching domestic violence orders , yet it would be interesting to see how many women get jailed for doing the same. The sentences and orders should apply the same and gender not brought into it. If a woman threatens, abuses a man, let her cop the same punishment as a man, nothing less!!

Tuesday 12 August 2008

Fake Profiles by Underage Girls

As abhorrent as sexual abuse is of anyone let alone of a person underage, the question remains of what supervision of the internet is made when underage girls go on adult dating sites and represent themselves as being over 18.

There can be NO excuse for the actions of one man aged 63 when he met up with one such girl. The child eventually told him in person she was not 18 but in fact, 15. Sexual acts occurred and the next day the child complained to her mother and subsequent arrest was made with charges laid.

This man gets what he deserves as the child informed him of her age before the acts were committed but surely there has to be some thought given to girls who deliberately set up profiles like this and catch out unsuspecting men. I think it is creepy that these older men would want to be chasing girls as young as 18 but if the girls lie and DO NOT reveal correct age, then the actions of the girls needs to be brought into question as well.

Computers can be set to passwords and blocking of sites to aid prevention of this, again it comes down to supervising your kids access to the net. No point in getting all outraged if you give your kids free reign on the net.

Doggy Doo aka Art?


Giant dog poo...is this really art? Thank God for the winds that blew it down. Too much time on their hands if creating and inflating what is meant to represent a dog log is considered art. Yes most artists would like to be recognised for their work and Paul McCarthy certainly got the attention but not for obvious talent.

Saturday 9 August 2008

SURPRISES

I love surprises and this one made me smile. A gorgeous start to the weekend.

Friday 8 August 2008

Beijing 08/08/08



With all the hype currently broadcast on television with the Olympic opening ceremony about to begin, the enthusiasm for me just isn't there as in previous games.

It was reported on the idiot box tonight that some are paying up to $900AUD for the best seats in the house. Ludicrous prices , that amount of money is almost equivalent to 3 months wages for those who helped build the Olympic venues.

I seen some images of Beijing earlier, the air was filled with smog, it just looks dirty. Surely a more fitting city and country was in the running than China. It might be flash, all pomp and ceremony with the games beginning but how many really trust that these games will be fair? Am not speaking of just drug cheating either.
If the games are to be fair for all athletes, what about fairness for its own citizens.


China presents itself to the world but the Olympics will not erase their poor human rights record!

Tuesday 5 August 2008

Why parents drink

WHY PARENTS DRINK!

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not
arrived at work or rung in sick.

Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he rang his
home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

'Is your daddy home?' he said

'Yes' whispered the small voice

'May I talk with him?'

The child whispered ' No.'

Surprised and wanting to talk to an adult, the boss asked

'Is Mummy there?' ... 'Yes'

'May I talk with her?'

Again the small voice whispered, 'No.'
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message
asked 'Is anybody else there?'

'Yes,' whispered the child 'a policeman'.

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's residence,

'May I speak with the policeman?'

'No, he's busy' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

'Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman' came the whisper.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the earpiece on the
phone, the boss asked

'What is that noise?'

'A helicopter' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly worried.

Again, whispering, the child answered 'The search team just arrived.'

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated, the boss asked 'What are
they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled response

'me'.

OLD MEN AND SEX

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.

THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, "GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.
THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE."
THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, "YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!"
"DEAD?" SAYS HIS FRIEND, "WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
"WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER."

HIS FRIEND SAYS, "COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH."
" A WITCH, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?"
"WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..., TAKIN MY TEETH WITH HER

Monday 4 August 2008

I Will be back

For the last few days, I have been absent , not much happening to post about in here. I realise we all go through patches where it becomes difficult to find material to write about. Outside influences do not help either.

All the computer problems have been sorted, I find a new program thing on here where the whole layout makes it look different and it is suppose to make things faster. Well that remains to be seen, am sceptical of all the ones who fiddle with my computer.

How frustrating can the day be , waiting to use the bathroom, dammit how long does one female take to brush hair, clean teeth. Thirty minutes later, with 5 minutes to spare in getting the boys to school, I get to have a shower and make sure am presentable to the outside world. I can not understand how some women take longer than 10 minutes in the bathroom. It's just like going to the toilet, you get in , do your thing and get out. Time wasters in the toilet and bathroom irritate the hell out of me, and isn't a good start to the day.

With noise levels at maximum I ran away into blogs and was pleasantly surprised to see that JMB from Nobody Important had awarded me the following and as with previous award given I wish I could give this back to JMB but award or not, she knows I enjoy her site.


There are just a couple of rules :

1. Tag 5 people.

2. 4 have to be dedicated followers of your blog

3. One has to be someone new or recently new to your blog and live in another part of the world.

4. You must link back to whoever gave you the award.

I choose Kate , Crushed, Mutley, Pam, Grendel and just for good measure I'm nominating Lordsomber and Lord Nazh. I realise some don't like awards to be given, take it as appreciation for what you do :)

FIREMAN STYLE



A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:

BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets,

BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,

BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

"From now on when I say BELL 1
I want you to strip naked.
When I say BELL 2
I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3
We are going to make love all night.

" The next night he came home from work and yelled

"BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped in to bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love.
After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!"

"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?


"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied "
YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.."