Monday 29 October 2007

To Lift or Not to Lift ?


Why is it that one of the main complaints women have about men is all over the toilet seat?


Most women detest seeing the lid sitting upright and in a middle of the night dash, who actually remembers to see whether the seat is up or down?


What would women of today think if most of the male population started to whine about the seat not being left up? All is fair in standing or sitting at the porcelain bowl.


Come on girls, you want equal rights then start lifting the seat when you exit .

Just 1 question that puzzles me, why do men read in the toilet and what takes them so long?

To go Back in Time


Tick tock, tick tock, her eyes glance to see


the hands of time move closer, that time has come,


heavy footsteps upon the porch, pulses race


heart beating faster, a smile so bright,


he walks through the door. A sense of peace.


Closing the door, shut out the world,


leaving the gremlins of work behind.


They share a laugh, see beauty in all,


a small pink flower to fluffy


white clouds, ache so deep at what


is unfair.


Looking out across the ocean blue


A rainbow of color, prisms of light


to carry thoughts and dreams ,


and the power of reality sets in...


Tick tock, tick tock the dream of


turning back 20 years is lost........


Tuesday 23 October 2007

WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt !"

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt, Awe Schitt the fertilizer magnate married O Schitt, the owner of Needeep N Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents wishes, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock and because her kids were living with her, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseperable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his Indian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt" you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O Schitt.

Wednesday 10 October 2007

The Moors Murders......an "uneducated" view.

I have just finished watching a documentary on The Moors Murders in England. There is tears and sadness that two individuals raped, tortured and killed those children, the show gave some details about what happened to them. It is beyond me how anyone could do the disgusting things they did let alone aid another in comitting the abhorant crimes. One now elderly mother awaits for the discovery of her little boys body so she can finally lay him to rest. Every year she places flowers on the fence line and over looks the vastness of the moors wondering where her child lies crudely buried. Myra Hindley at first claimed innocence then to further her chances of gaining release years later she made full admissions of what part she played in the murders. Forensic psycholgists and criminologist have presented studies that say she was under a profound influence of Ian Brady. Myra Hindley was not kept prisoner or tortured into partaking the killing of innocents. She chose the path she walked, be it misguided or not but still her choice. Two words to describe her sorry ass, Pure Evil ! R.I.P Keith Bennett, and may Angels watch over your mother.