Monday, 10 March 2008

Todays Featured Humour


Today's Featured Humor : -) - Dictionary For Women


ARGUMENT (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he hasn't realized it yet.
AIRHEAD (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
BAR_BE_QUE (bar*bi*q) n You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he "made the dinner."
BLONDE JOKES (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
CANTALOUPE (kant*e*lope) n Gotta get married in a church.
CLOTHES DRYER (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
DIET SODA (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
ETERNITY (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
EXERCI SE (ex*er*siz) v To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. GROCERY LIST (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend ½ an hour writing, then forget to take to the store.
HAIR DRESSER (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
HARDWARE STORE (hard*war stor) n Similar to a black hole in space -- if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
CHILDBIRTH (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breathe...push..."
LIPSTICK (lip*stik) n On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
PARK (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
PATIENCE (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
WATERPROOF MASCARA (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
VALENTINES DAY (val*en*tinez dae) n A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

5 comments:

Bretwalda Edwin-Higham said...

Chuckle - I have some of those but not from the point of view of the woman.

Nunyaa said...

Then share them, I DARE YOU haha.

Bretwalda Edwin-Higham said...

I did a post on them and I'll track it down and re-run it.

Bretwalda Edwin-Higham said...

Like the blonde jokes one.

Nunyaa said...

I like blonde jokes, am partial to kiwi jokes, you know the rivalry between Australia and New Zealand, isn't it similar to that of England and Wales?