Saturday, 3 May 2008

Real Men, Real Women...blah blah and so it continues

You know what, going back to that post, not all us women are like that and do we have to be labeled as if we are? Perhaps when these kinds of things are written it should be expressed whether they mean all women or some women.

"So what do we have? We have women who expect the world to be given to them, and when it isn't, demand special treatment and affirmative action to get it. They want a man who will do everything she asks of him and more, without ever showing appreciation or gratitude for him."
"And if women want a real man, then they're going to have to find it in themselves to be able to respect him, to appreciate all he does, and to work as hard as he does at their life, whether inside or outside of the home. I think most men are willing to do just about anything for their wives, if they knew that she was grateful and appreciative. Is it too much to ask to take our egos down a few pegs?

If women want real men to re-emerge, then they need to make themselves worthy of them."

This post says I this, I that but have chosen to write it and there are plenty of other women who have been through the same, to show, not all of us females are assholes to our men, but a lot of us do get treated like dirt in return. They were not Real Men in first place.

First to admit I am not perfect. But I sure as hell appreciated my man going to work, was there at home to meet him, genuinely happy to see him home (in the beginning), have clothes ready for when he wanted to shower, got him a cold or hot drink whatever he chose, had his dinner ready for when he wanted it served , the children were always bathed and all housework was done BEFORE he came home. The bed was made, no dirty dishes in the sink, no dirty laundry left anywhere, no dirty floors. All toys put away. Never, ever once did I belittle or talk down to any of my partners in front of anyone else, if something had to be said it was done in private. I worked shift work and used that money to put towards bills and items for house. I made his lunches for work, made sure the work clothes was ironed, at times I would scrub them by hand and end up with skin missing from my hands. I stood by him through thick and thin.
I would do it all again EXCEPT this time, I would make sure I never got beaten, strangled, pushed through windows,forced to engage in unwanted sex, have a gun held to my head, ridiculed in front of friends and family.

Yes I want a man who can show me good old fashioned values and be chivalrous, in return he will get a woman who will honour him, respect him, show faith and loyalty, appreciate and love him. What he wont get is a victim.

Rachel Lucas says it best of all the posts read.

This is why when posts get done about how women want real men and how women should smarten their act up, please don't include all women in that, NOT all of us have hairy armpits and treat our men like shit. A perfect reason why Germaine Greer and her cronies ideals are nothing more than a waste of oxygen.



katekatekatekate said...

I just typed out a lobg response to this but deleted it all as it was getting way too personal.
Relationships are a two way street and that should include respect and equality for both parties.
Great that you say not all women are like not all men are arseholes.
;0)Great post.

Nunyaa said...

My point exactly Kate, I think men in general do not get treated with respect. Yes some don't deserve it, but neither do all women. If women want to act like they have a set of balls, then go for it, but they can't complain about it after. Fair enough we all joke around about the opposite gender but some extremes out there who live by a certain mantra. And thank you :-)

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

GG is a true intellectual and, although she has said many extreme things, she said most of them in an era when they needed saying.

I consider myself a "real woman" who would like a man to be with me, not to dominate or be dominated, but just to share the good and bad of this life. In return he would get a lot of love! I think we agree there.

Nunyaa said...

Yes I do agree with that Welshcakes, sometimes I think these things do get over analysed and people need to get on with living. Said this before, can't live with them but sure as hell can't live without them :-)

Semaj Mahgih said...

OK, just let me calm down a little when I see Welshcakes defending Greer.

Greer is no intellectual. She occupied a position in a university but if she'd been an intellectual, she would not say such stupid things about the genders.

She, like the cronies I listed in a recent post, has no clue how to advance the cause of women as real feminists do.

Real feminists are today undoing the real damage wrought by Greer and her ilk and are trying to work WITH men, as fellow adults. She tries to understand and come to terms with him and calls on the man to also do so.

No chest beating, no strutting round saying how much better their gender is and other childishness. These true feminists realize the difficulty in relationships and appreciate that it's a two way trial and error thing on a couple buy couple basis.

The moment a Greer sticks her oar in - the debate is off and everyone retreats to entrenched positions.

When will dear Welshcakes ever see that?

The other aspect - what is a real woman?

She's an adult in female form with a vested interest in interfacing successfully with the other gender, recognizing that both are on this earth to work in with each other.

I could get on to the real man but Nunyaa did not put that as part of the brief.

She looks after herself without going overboard, puts her point of view, feeds off his care and attention to her as he feeds off hers.

She's a person who can juggle man, family, career, whatever but there are things she wants him to do too.

There are things only she can do, in terms of her approach and there are things or an angle he comes in with too.

Nunyaa said...

I know and respect we all have diff opinions, that is main reason for this post, to see what others think. Ok, what is your idea then of a real man James ?

Crushed said...

Maybe the question itself is flawed.

The question itself implies that a man has to live up to a stereotype to find a woman who lives up to a stereotype that isn't fact what he's looking for.

I guess I want something rather different to most men.

I want someone who has their own life, and doesn't see me as essential part of it.

I think to me what it boils down to this;
They're there when you need them, but EQUALLY, they're NOT there when you don't.
And that seems to be a hard balance.

jmb said...

Did you axe my comment Nunyaa?

Sean Jeating said...

Hm, intended just to say hello from baby to baby.
Well, having read with interest both post and comments, I'll restrict myself on two aspects: I have learnt to mistrust anybody who'd a) generalize on whatever topic (The Muslims, the Chinese, the British football fans etc. etc.) and/or b) pretend/claim to be in possession of the one and only truth, as hidden/implied in the word 'real'.
Would be interesting to see what happened if (wo)men instead of discussing, demanding, disputing their 'roles' treated/loved one another in exactly the way they are longing to be treated/loved, themselves.
Alas, when the stones are swimming the leaves will sink.
The Peace of the Night.

Nunyaa said...

No JMB I haven't, there is no blog owner approval on here any more and I value everyone's opinion whethter they agree or disagree with me or others in here.

Nunyaa said...

I'm not generalizing, I am asking Sean, and it seems to be a controversial topic in many of the blogs I have read.
Crushed, the reality for me is that people will always have differences of opinions and its just working together to find what suits both best.

Sean Jeating said...

Ah, sorry in case my comment was confusing, Nunyaa. By no means I intended to negatively critizise your post or any commenter. Not at all.

Rather on the contrary.
The Peace of the Night.

Nunyaa said...

The topic is such that it provokes intense reactions, all good Sean I take it on board your thoughts :-)

jmb said...

Well I'll have to try to remember what I said Nunyaa. (I thought you had comment moderation when I left it.)
I know I said that I cringe when I hear those terms: real man which puts me in mind of a macho guy in a wifebeater shirt with a beer and a cigarette yelling for another beer and real woman which brings to mind some woman hanging onto a man's arm gazing up at him and saying whatever you say dear. Don't ask me why. But do irritate me.

There are women and there are men. All real and all different. For me the ideal relationship is one as suggested by Welshcakes, two individuals who love and respect each other and care for each other sharing the good and bad as they go through life.
It all comes down to that. Mutual respect and nurture and freedom to be who you were meant to be.

I didn't really think you had deleted my comment,Nunyaa. I thought it might be lost in the emails you get because I was sure there was comment moderation here.

Nunyaa said...

I removed it as not always here to publish them and its much easier this way I think.
"It all comes down to that. Mutual respect and nurture and freedom to be who you were meant to be."
I consider myself a "real woman" who would like a man to be with me, not to dominate or be dominated, but just to share the good and bad of this life. In return he would get a lot of love! I think we agree there."
I like the way you put this, and agree JMB and Welshcakes.